For those of us whom are married, let’s face it; It’s never EVER easy. And if things are going smoothly, like too good to be true…it’s just the calm before the storm. You all know what I’m talking about.
Your Prince Charming, your Knight in shining armor, the person you vowed to love for all eternity, has all of a sudden turned into an endless list of annoyances, that you despise! They breathe too loud, chew too loud, never get their clothes in the hamper, and on, and on.
The house is now a war zone of overly exaggerated eye-rolls and passive aggressive comments. Hooray! Welcome to marriage. Don’t worry. It’ll pass, and the lovey-dovey hormones will return soon.
In the meantime, lets discuss some steps to get you through the storm, and make sure the sun once again, shines out your partners ass.
Space for me is a necessity. I need time to be alone to sort through my thoughts and feelings. My logical brain knows that being annoyed by everything, is not my husbands fault. My emotional brain on the other hand, disagrees. So, this space gives me the alone time that I need to process, and get both sides of my brain on the same page. (Ok, some things are totally his fault, but I’m trying to be the bigger person and let that shit go). Which brings me to my next step.
LET. THAT. SHIT. GO.
Obviously, easier said than done sometimes. But, once you’ve had your alone time to process, it’s time to rationalize and put aside the “extra reasons” you’re pissed. Try and narrow it down to a core issue. Let the rest of that shit go. Deep down, you know the way they breathe, isn’t really why you’re mad. (Or maybe it is. That’s for you to decide).
Now it’s time for the hard part. Talking. You knew this was coming, don’t hate. You can’t avoid each other forever, and not talking will just prolong the stormy weather. However, if you’re anything like me, talking doesn’t always go the way you planned. So here’s what I do. Ready?
Write it out. Yup! Whether it’s pen and paper or a text, just get the words out. I have texted my husband many, many times when I just can’t get the words in my brain, to come out of my mouth the same way. Plus, this way, there’s no “he said, she said” bullshit. You have written proof. Boo Ya!
This last step is crucial. Apologize/Forgive. If you truly want to restore peace in the home, you need to 100% forgive each other. None of the sarcastic “geeze soooorry,” bullshit. I’m talking about looking into each others eyes, hold their hand and apologize and forgive. If you’re feeling especially lovey at this point, give each other a big ole smooch.
Is the sun shining yet?
Comment on how you get through the storm and restore the love.